David A. Bandel
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OK, I get it, I'm not "kewl" or whatever the latest phrase is. But "kewl" or not, I'm not rude. My cell phone rings constantly. But I don't have the urge to "just answer it". Todays younger crowd treat their "crackberry" like a baby -- it cries, they gotta grab it and attend exclusively to it. What's with that?
Lately, I dislike talking to anyone much younger than myself, because they have this bizarre craving to indulge their baby every few seconds. We're in the middle of a conversation, their baby cries, and they're staring at their crotch, fingers flying over the miniature keypad like they're in the throws of an orgasm (or about to be).
It's more than just a little disconcerting to have someone suddenly staring between their own legs, with their fingers so engaged, and a far away look in their down-turned eyes. I don't need this when I'm talking to a young lady half my age (or worse, the age of my daughters).
There's no "excuse me, I feel the urge," or "hold that thought, I can't control myself -- be right back." No sir, they just cut straight to the chase. And I watch this happening all around me. A young man conversing with a very pretty lady in front of him, and a few seconds later, his eyes are no longer on her (talk about an engaging handmaiden).
Perhaps it's just me. But personally, if I were that young man, no technology in this world would unglue my eyes from the beauties in front of me (and I don't mean her baby blues, either). Are folks sending porn flicks from one phone to the next, because I just don't understand this obsession.
I read about a case where some burglar, while robbing a house, stopped to brag about his latest adventure on Facebook. If he'd have just remembered to log off, he might have gotten away with it. Just incredible.
I'm waiting for it to be some fool who can't leave a "crackberry" unanswered, even if it isn't hers. Who's the master? Appears to me technology is no longer the faithful servant. I like that it reminds me I'm forgetting my 18th wedding anniversary. I don't like that it dominates everything. In the home, in the office, on the road, in the movie theater, everywhere. A stripper doing a table dance doesn't get this much attention. Ladies, I'd be jealous (and not a little disappointed). It's just absurd to think that a knockout lady could get more attention with a pair of "crackberries" velcroed to her chest than if she were to walk around topless. What gives here?
I think it's time we all started reminding our fellow humans that the person standing in front of them deserves their immediate attention, and the technology in their pocket can wait a few minutes -- even if it is the boss (I actually only want to answer that call while sitting on the throne).
Just keep it in your pocket close to the family jewels and leave it on vibrate. Folks will wonder what you're smiling about all the time.
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